i donno if i should cry or laugh? i just lost a person i loved today...but i was miserable...or was i just being selfish? noone will know.....i feel empty ...words cant explain it....like theres no point carrying on becuase i only carried on for this person...but  i was unhappy with them too....maybe i was just so used to having them around i forgot what it was like to just be free....so much..that now i'm lost....

 

i may seem like a complicated girl...but all i needed was just a touch of love...a warm hug when i'm shivering from the winter's night breeze..to let me know i'm not alone...a soft kiss on the lips to tell me everything is ok when i complain about all life's complications...was it that hard? ...i was too niave....all you could do was say "i do love u" and yell at me and let me go...i may have walked away...but you alway had my heart....i'm nothing but an empty body ...and all thats left to do...is to slowly pick up the pieces of it you've been throwing away...like the stars in the sky..its almost impossible find...it'll never be the same... time will tell...but can time heal it?

hmm been raining alot lately...i like the rain...somehow when it rains i'm suddenly drawn away from this place and in a place of my own...reflecting and sometimes i find myself completly lost...like now...

 

i'm starting to stress lately...just got my nps audit package today..have no idea what to do with it...i went through a traning plan today and just realised i'm compltely behind...i need to start reviewing :( ...sigh so much to do and so little time..

 

i wish i would just look at the present and start attacking whats at hand first rather than procrastinate and stress about the future...

wow havnt written in here for ages....feels good to randomly blab on about nothing for no reason...even if noone reads it...lol

 

wierd day today...had a fight  with mum in the morning about not picking up my brother...then with clem about not wanting to do anything...sigh (i just wanted to stay home and relax for once)...but yet again i gave in and went out with clem since he's been eager to see xmen all week......we ended up missing the 4:50pm session at southbank since we drove from indro (although there was a 6pm session at indro)..then we drove to barracks palace at newfarm but that didnt start till 7pm and ended up aimlessly driving to the goldcoast but there was nothing to do there so we decided to spontaneously drive in to yatala drive in to watch angels and demons...talk about random