Tsui's.....O_o.....space

4 days in sydney was great....time really does fly when you're having fun...but mum found out about me and clem...my sister told her -.-" things didnt turn out so bad as it thought it would though...so far so good..:)...four days worth of skill testing machines...i cant get enough of those stuff...you should have a go someday....i think i wasted $500 just on skill testing machines alone...but i didnt win much :(  oh welz at least i had fun.  went to cabramatta...omg...(no comment here...might get hunted down by asian gangsters) lol .....on my 'll last day....it'll probably be the most memorable day of my life...so far...lol...why? ...thats a secret....clue:...i cried.. in a good way...

 

anyways now i'm back here..an noone even noticed iw as gone...haha -.-" no surprises there...i've only been gone 4 days and mum forgot she had a daughter lol...now i'm back to work..back to boring life again..back to stressing and assignments due in 2 weeks....back to REALITY -.-"

went to wet n wild today....turn out to be a great day!! managed to make mum go on 1 ride and dad to go on 2 ...it was hilarious how scared she was...its so sad how they're getting old...but at least they enjoyed the hot spa..^_^ is it just me or am i also getting old....but do all the rides seem somewhat the same anyways...so what was the point in developing "new" rides when they feel the same....my favourite would still have to be the white water rapids ^_^ and the scariest is the kamakazi - why did i have to be at the front dropping backwards?? T_T

 

anyway went to have dinner at bbq tempt and opted for everything spicy.....that was highly regretted after a full botttle of water...lots of trips to the toilet and bad indigestion/reflux (serves me right for falling asleep afterwards)...ok back to bed..:P...

i donno if i should cry or laugh? i just lost a person i loved today...but i was miserable...or was i just being selfish? noone will know.....i feel empty ...words cant explain it....like theres no point carrying on becuase i only carried on for this person...but  i was unhappy with them too....maybe i was just so used to having them around i forgot what it was like to just be free....so much..that now i'm lost....

 

i may seem like a complicated girl...but all i needed was just a touch of love...a warm hug when i'm shivering from the winter's night breeze..to let me know i'm not alone...a soft kiss on the lips to tell me everything is ok when i complain about all life's complications...was it that hard? ...i was too niave....all you could do was say "i do love u" and yell at me and let me go...i may have walked away...but you alway had my heart....i'm nothing but an empty body ...and all thats left to do...is to slowly pick up the pieces of it you've been throwing away...like the stars in the sky..its almost impossible find...it'll never be the same... time will tell...but can time heal it?

hmm been raining alot lately...i like the rain...somehow when it rains i'm suddenly drawn away from this place and in a place of my own...reflecting and sometimes i find myself completly lost...like now...

 

i'm starting to stress lately...just got my nps audit package today..have no idea what to do with it...i went through a traning plan today and just realised i'm compltely behind...i need to start reviewing :( ...sigh so much to do and so little time..

 

i wish i would just look at the present and start attacking whats at hand first rather than procrastinate and stress about the future...

wow havnt written in here for ages....feels good to randomly blab on about nothing for no reason...even if noone reads it...lol

 

wierd day today...had a fight  with mum in the morning about not picking up my brother...then with clem about not wanting to do anything...sigh (i just wanted to stay home and relax for once)...but yet again i gave in and went out with clem since he's been eager to see xmen all week......we ended up missing the 4:50pm session at southbank since we drove from indro (although there was a 6pm session at indro)..then we drove to barracks palace at newfarm but that didnt start till 7pm and ended up aimlessly driving to the goldcoast but there was nothing to do there so we decided to spontaneously drive in to yatala drive in to watch angels and demons...talk about random

woah its been a long time....forgot this still existed...

 

anyways life for me is on a stand still everything just suddenly feels so slow...><...holidays was too fast...think i was working too much..but with the dept and all... i have to T_T....now uni has started again and it seems as though i've been put on slow motion while everything else is just speeding up. 

 

mum's been sick lately...i donno what to do...i feel really stupid and all..like i'm studying a profession to help her but i feel like i have no idea whats going on.  its probably nothing, she had a high fever the last 2 days and i took her to the doctors last night and they said she just had URT infection but i donno, i guess i'm jst worried. she kept me up last night with her coughing and at one point it was just blood, the doctores recons its nothing - probably from the nose they guess, she cant speak properly and is fighting for every breath.  she got angry at my brother today and ended up getting a bleeding nose..><.....i'm scared

 

my sister got engaged on sunday...i was soo happy for her....she's been wanting it for sooo long but when its finally here she's scared....always still fighting with her boyfriend (now fiance)

 

anyways its like 11.26pm and i feel like i should be doing something but i donno what... so here i am...just listening out for any more coughs from my mum..i hope she's sleeping ok ...there u go...i hear it agian..T_T

 

anyways i'm just gonna go think  

its that time of the year again...my birthday...woot...what makes it soo special?...nothing really....its not special....